Conflict is a normal experience. Almost everyone goes through it, especially when navigating a relationship. Conflicts can arise for a variety of reasons. Whether it be a big issue or a smaller one, being able to overcome them together is crucial to maintaining your relationship.
But how can couples do this in a healthy way? In this article, we’ll outline some key strategies you can use to manage potentially damaging conflicts in your relationship. With the right advice, you and your partner may become closer than ever.
For personalised advice, contact our team and book an appointment at Ros Yuen Psychology today.
Voice Your Concerns
If left to fester, small grievances can quickly turn into larger conflicts. One of the best ways to manage these is to address them before they become a major issue. If something your partner does has begun to bother or upset you, let them know.
Being able to share your thoughts and feelings can help your partner understand your needs. Likewise, they can address your concerns before they become an issue, helping to avoid conflict.
Try to Prepare First
Whether it’s a minor problem or one that’s blown out of control, you’ll want to prepare before sitting down with your partner. Try to choose a time and place where you won’t feel rushed or overwhelmed. Putting a time limit on your conversation can only be detrimental to the outcome.
You need to be able to sit down with your partner, in a calm place, and discuss your needs clearly. Try to only deal with one issue at a time and take into account your partner’s feelings as you progress. If you’re worried about losing your train of thought, consider writing them down.
Listen to Each Other
Listening to each other is just as important as communicating your own needs. When in conflict, sometimes it can be easy to get caught up in who is right or wrong. Make sure each of you has space to express your thoughts, feelings and concerns throughout the conversation.
This can help you understand your partner’s point of view, clearing up any misunderstandings. It can also help you understand how to overcome your current challenge and move forward.
Place Ground Rules
Placing ground rules can help you and your partner know how to proceed. If you are worried about conflicts getting out of hand, ground rules can help you feel more confident when facing the issue. Important boundaries such as no yelling, name calling or swearing are good rules to put in place.
These can help you both feel secure when coming to each other about a problem. Likewise, your rules can be as unique and specific to you as needed. Maybe you’ll want to implement a ten-minute break or time out that you can call for during a discussion. This can help you both cool down and relax.
Try to sit down with your partner and discuss the different rules you would both like to adhere to during tense discussions.
Meet in The Middle
Being able to discuss your concerns is just the start of managing conflicts. To be able to overcome issues, you and your partner need to be able to meet in the middle. Depending on the conflict, you may be able to find a compromise. If you can, you should try to find an answer that satisfies you both.
Being able to come to an agreement on how to move forward is crucial. Without any kind of commitment or change of behaviour, your issues will only compound. This could result in more damaging arguments down the road.
Try to be Flexible
Being immovable on a topic or stuck on a commitment that isn’t working won’t help your relationship. Try to be flexible with each other. If you both realise your agreement isn’t working, don’t be afraid to talk about other options.
There is no one-size-fits-all answer to relationship conflicts. So finding what works for you, and letting go of what doesn’t is a healthier way of managing conflict outcomes.
Weigh the Importance
It’s important to consider the weight of your current conflict. Is this a serious issue that needs to be addressed? Or is it something you are both happy to compromise on? There are some issues that you may never agree on, which is normal. But, you should also consider if these disagreements are negatively impacting your life.
If you can never find a middle ground, especially on serious concerns, you may need an outside perspective to help you move forward. Likewise, if these disagreements are important, you may have to reconsider your relationship.
While there can be a lot of love, conflicts on a scale that affect your morals or beliefs shouldn’t be ignored. No one should have to sacrifice what they value most to maintain a relationship.
Support is Within Reach
If you’re feeling stuck in a conflict, or want help managing relationship issues, reach out to our team at Ros Yuen Psychology. We can sit down with you and your partner, helping to uncover the deeper issue causing concerns. With the right advice and guidance, you’ll be able to move forward as a team and maintain a healthy balance in your relationship.
